Speechless
by Desert.Moon
Summary: Mir and Gwyn throw a birthday party for an unwilling Emi, who is determined not to accept any presents... Except, of course, getting away from the man she hates the most. Fanfic of a fanfic - birthday gift for an amazing friend.


**A/N: Welllllll… today is the birthday of the most amazingest person ever, Liz (Element Girls on FF), and I needed to give her a gift. (Many gifts, actually.) Since she has this amazing fic called "The Red Rose" (www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/4243962/1/ARedRose), I got a totally random idea for a fanfic for a fanfic!! :D And here it is. It amused me.**

**Do these things:**

**-Go read **_**The Red Rose**_**.**

**-Shower Liz with praise and plushis. She likes both the Kaibas, Jake from **_**Twilight**_**, Kiba from **_**Naruto**_**, Heihachi (and just about everyone) from **_**Samurai 7**_**… BURY HER IN BISHIS!!**

**-And wish her a HUGE happy birthday!!**

**LIZ, YOU ARE AMAZING!!**

--

When Emi was ready to leave the house in the morning, she found Mir sitting calmly on the front mat, leaning against the door, reading a book. The pale-haired girl raised an eyebrow, gazing down at her younger sister.

"Don't you have school today?"

"Nope."

Emi frowned at her. "Actually, I'm pretty sure you do."

"Not anymore." Mir never took her eyes off the book, but she was grinning. "Gwyn either. I called us in sick."

"What! Why?"

"Dear sister, do you have any idea what day it is?"

"Uhhhh… Friday?"

"Hooray, Emi knows the days of the week!"

"Judging by your tone, that's not the answer you wanted."

Mir rolled her eyes and turned the page.

"Well, even if you're illegally skipping school for reasons you won't disclose—we'll talk about that later, by the way—_I _have to go to work."

"No you don't. You're calling in sick, too."

"No I'm not! I have—"

"If you don't do it, I will."

"Like Kaiba—"

Mir finally raised her gaze to Emi, smiling wickedly. "I'll put Gwyn on the phone if I have to."

--

The phone rang jarringly, cutting through the near-silence of Seto Kaiba's office. Irritated, he answered with an annoyed "Yes?"

"_I'm calling in sick."_

"You don't have any sick days," he said coolly, recognizing the voice of Emiko Hidenka.

"_Then I'm calling in _dead_! I'm not coming in today! Tell Moki he has an extra day for his homework and—"_

_  
_"Can you please explain why you chose to call _me_ for this?"

There was silence on the other end of the phone. Sighing slightly, he changed his question.

"What sort of sick are you?" the teen gajllionaire growled into the phone. He couldn't help but remember the _last_ time she had been sick; if it was anything like that, he didn't _want_ her around.

"_I—"_

"_Oh, give me that!"_

There was a slight scuffling sound, and when someone spoke again, Seto recognized it as Emi's younger sister, Mir.

"_She is the kind of sick where she ages at the unnatural rate of one year per three-hundred and sixty five days, and today she is suffering from a debilitating attack of _getting older_, so she's not coming in to work."_

"_Debilitating?" _someone asked from the side.

"_It's a word I learned from Bakura."_

"_That boy has some vocabulary."_

"_I know."_

"You are trying to tell me it's your birthday," grated Seto, eye developing a slight twitch.

"_No, it's Emi's birthday."_

"Yes, I am talking to _her_."

"_Oh_." A brief silence. _"Hey, Emi, he's talking to you."_

"_I'm pretty sure I was talking to him, too, before you stole the phone."_

"_Aha! So you finally admit that you _want_ to talk to him! Now you guys can—"_

"_You realize he's still on the phone."_

_  
"So?"_

"_Listening."_

"_What's your point?"_

"…_Just give me that."_

It took all his willpower not to hang up before Emi came back on. "You are not allowed to skip out on your promises simply because you're having a birthday. They happen every year. I expect you here in an hour, no more." Then he really did hang up.

--

"Wow, that went spectacularly."

"It probably didn't help that you couldn't reign in your _debilitating _desire to be rich."

"And I didn't even get a chance to put Gwyn on the phone! She would have made him say yes for sure!"

"Sissy…"

"But it's ok," Mir went on, ignoring her sisters. "You told him you weren't coming. Just stay home."

"I don't think Sissy should do that."

"I _know_ I shouldn't do that."

"What's he gonna do, fire you?"

"Don't I wish."

"I have an idea!" Gwyn said suddenly. "Sissy can go into work and then sneak out! Moki won't give her away!"

"Gwyn! That's amazing!"

"No, it's terrible."

"Come on, Emi! It's your _birthday_!"

"Even more reason to get out of the house."

"You know you want just one day without that man breathing down your neck."

"…Darn you and your rightness."

"That's my line."

--

Two hours later, Seto Kaiba walked by to see Emi sequestered with Mokuba, going over the math with him. She scowled up at the older Kaiba as he passed by, but he couldn't restrain a small smirk.

The moment he was gone, Emi jumped to her feet, dusting off. "Gah, I thought he'd _never_ come by! Now that that's over with, I'm leaving."

"What?" Mokuba stared at her. "Where are you going?"

"Shh, I'm sneaking out!"

"Er… why?"

"He wouldn't let me call in sick, that's why!"

"You don't look sick."

"I'm sick of him!"

"Um…" The black-haired boy didn't seem to know what to say to this. "He's gonna fire you if he sees you…."

"Good! Maybe I'll get caught on purpose! Do you really think it would work?"

"…Not really."

"Dang, me neither. Oh well. Will you help me or not?"

"Emi… uhhh…"

"Well?"

"Alright! I'll do it!! But you have to tell me why."

"…It's my birthday. I really do want to—that's it! You could come with! That way I can still spend the day with you!"

"I'm not sure that's a good idea… Brother wouldn't like it…" Despite his words, the boy's dark blue eyes were filled with longing.

"Actually, that's kind of the point."

"Well…"

"What's he gonna do, fire me? We'll leave a note."

"…Ok!" he said decisively, after a moment more. "Let's go!"

--

"You made it!" Mir cheered, opening the door to find Emi and Mokuba standing there, breathless with excitement. "And you brought Moki! Oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!"

Gwyn peered around her older sister, lavender eyes wide. "Mir, you didn't make plans for Moki…"

"Yes I did! Mwahaha! Fear my foresight!"

"Yes, you're a regular Ishizu."

"Who?"

"I have no idea, it just popped into my head. Can I actually come in?"

"Sorry, O Worshipped Birthday Girl," Mir said, laughing and bowing as she stepped back to let her sister and Mokuba enter. "Right this way…"

"What exactly are we doing today?" Emi asked suspiciously as Mir closed the door.

"It's a secret!" Gwyn whispered loudly.

"…I don't like the sound of that."

--

A knock on the door punctuated the air, interrupting a mess in the kitchen similar to that which had occurred at the Kaiba mansion once before. Mir answered the door covered in cake batter, laughing hysterically. She brushed a clump of batter-coated hair from her face with a batter-coated hand, smearing more of the substance across her forehead, then stopped to look at who was at the door.

"Bakura?"

"Oh, hello. You weren't in school again today, so I brought the homework for you. Are you alright?" He took in the batter with another of his winning smiles. "I thought you might be sick again."

"Nahhh, I'm fine." She looked down at her hands for lack of a better response. "Uhhh… you wanna come in a minute? I can't exactly take the homework all covered in cake batter…"

"I don't see why not." He followed her in, still smiling. "If you don't mind me asking, why _were_ you absent today?"

"It's my sister's birthday, so I skipped to throw her a, er, party." Mir grinned sheepishly, holding out her arms. A dollop of batter slid off and hit the floor. "Although I'm not really sure what we're going to do for _dinner…_"

"If you like, I'll cook," he offered. "I'm quite good at it."

"Wow, he can cook, too?" Emi said, coming up behind Mir, who jumped. "He gets more and more like the perfect husband every day."

"…Shut up," muttered the short-haired girl.

"All your snappy comebacks have deserted you, I see. Bakura, I think you need to teach her more of those big words; she can't seem to remember enough of them when she needs to. I.e., when you're around…"

"Hey!"

"I'd be happy to."

--

"OK! And now for the grand finale!!"

"Ugh, it better not be more food…"

"Sissy shouldn't have eaten so much."

"It was too good!"

"Learn to have some self-restraint, O Wise One."

"Like you didn't eat twice as much as me!"

"But I'm not the one groaning in pain."

"She's got a point…"

"She only ate it because Bakura made it."

"Well, it _was_ really good…"

"Yeah it was… Hey, Bakura, could we hire you to be our cook or something?"

"That'd be great!"

"We'd pay you in Mir!"

"WHAT!"

"Uh-oh… she's mad now, Sissy."

"So what, it was funny."

"Can we PLEASE return to the subject at hand?"

"This _is_ the subject at hand."

"Don't make me turn you in."

"Eh, Kaiba probably knows I've run off with his little brother already."

"I thought _Gwyn_ was running off with Mokuba."

"But she's too young, so I'm stealing him."

"Don't I get a say in this?"

"Nope."

"But I'm too young, too…."

"Gaahhhhh, you're distracting me!"

"That's 'cause I know what you're trying to do."

"No you don't!"

"Yes I do."

"Do you _see_ any boxes? Bows? Presents?"

"I bet you're hiding them under the couch."

"Grr…"

"Can I ask a question?"

"No."

"Where are the Steps?"

"Oh, they got an invitation to the Toriyamas' biggest party of the year…" Mir smiled evilly.

"The Toriyamas live about five hours away."

"That is correct."

"And they're not actually having a party today."

"Due to the fact that they're on vacation, yes." Her smile widened.

"…They are going to kill you when they get back."

Mir's eyes widened innocently. "Me? _I _didn't send an invitation to a nonexistent party…"

"Oh, to see their faces when they show up…"

"Hey, wait a minute."

"It would be so great…"

"Sissy!"

"Shock and horror and—"

Mir stood up suddenly and latched onto Emi's wrist. "That's it! We'll drag you out there if we have to! Gwyn! Moki! Bakura! Let's go!"

"Alright! Sissy! You have to come outside!"

"Er, where are we going?"

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

"That's the spirit!"

They dragged Emi all the way through the house and to the back door. She struggled the whole way, half-laughing despite her reluctance. When the group finally pushed her out the door, she stopped suddenly, the smile wiped off her face.

"What…"

A rosebush, full to the bursting with rich, scarlet blooms, sat innocently in the yard, rustling gently in the breeze. Emi stared at it, entirely uncertain of what to say.

"I could never understand why you didn't plant another one," Mir muttered, a little at a loss for words herself. A short silence fell.

"Sissy, I helped plant it!!" Gwyn squealed, throwing her arms around her oldest sister and disturbing the hush.

"It's… wow."

"That's _all_ you can say? Come _on_."

"Oh, shut up."

"Mm, no, that didn't sound like the right answer either."

"Gahhhhh… thank you!!" Starting to cry, Emi threw her arms around her two sisters, and then for the heck of it, grabbed Mokuba and Bakura as well.

"Can't… breathe…"

"Oh, stop whining, it's your chance to—"

"Don't even start."

"Happy birthday, Emi!"

"Sissy, can we give you your other presents now?"

"WHAT!"

"Kidding…"

--

"Soooooo," Mir began as she flopped down on her bed, all but ready to pass out on it. "I have to know. Was it worth it?"

"Worth what?"

"Skipping your job."

"AHAHAHAHAHHA totally!! I just wish I could have seen Seto Kaiba's face when he found out I was gone!! Ohhh man…"

"Sissy warmed up to my idea after all."

"Sis, I wanna be there tomorrow when he confronts you, ok?"

"Uhhh, no, _I'm_ not even gonna be there. How about you dress up as me and take my place."

"Pshhh, good luck with that one. Hey, is there any of that cake left, I wonder…"

"Mir! How can you even _think_ about eating more?!"

"Well, it was good…"

"…Speaking of the cake, _I _have a _brilliant_ idea for next year."

"What?"

"Let's try to make a cake with_out_ repainting the kitchen in batter."

"Awww, but it's more fun this way!"

"And a _lot_ more work to clean up."

"Eh, I'll make the Steps do it."

"Yeah, good luck with that one."

--

**A/N: So here's the biggest possible happy birthday EVER to the amazing, incredible, awesome, unbeatable LIZ!! And a HUGE thanks as well!! Not only was this inspired by her fic, she made me add so much when she read it over 'cause she kept inspiring me moooooooooooooooore!! XD**

_**HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LIZ!!**_


End file.
